Inner turmoil

Is this what it’s like to have a quarter life crisis? I feel like I can and want to do so many things with my life. But I’m staying on the path that I started to pave years ago during my teen year. The safe path that involves getting a job that guarantees job security though the pay isn’t great. The same one that if I have enough patience and if the variables do not change too much from my calculations should bring me a career where I get enough to do most things, a good family and a good reputation. The world has changed so much from the time I conceived that plan till now. I had prepared for some turbulences, for the world is an unsure place, but certainly not to the fact that I would doubt my plan so much or that I would change so much. My values have evolved though my mindset is still the same. I will battle fiercely to get to what I want the most. But what do I really want ,now and for the future, is the real question? What do I want to invest all my energy in? The fact that I can now see how my future, how the future of the planet is so uncertain doesn’t help. It makes me want to do everything now and blow my plans. But there is always something, a little voice, that tells me: “Your plan is going so well, stick to it.” Whatever I choose, I hope will be the best decision for me. 


xxx

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